Learning to Fail

Though I've always loved music
I never got beyond Three Blind Mice
Learning to play the guitar
 
So I tried playing the piano
And my teacher suggested
Maybe I could play better
With boxing gloves on
 
And I did like to box
But my trainer informed me
I had a glass jaw
Maybe I should learn to draw
 
So I took his advice
And went to art school
But drawing naked women
Made an instructor laugh
"I've never seen an ass as big as that!"
Said he. "And those breasts
Look like beach balls!
Is your mother shaped like that?"
 
So I decided to be a poet
Someone said it wasn't difficult at all
"Just write a bunch of words
Read them in a sing-song voice
Girls will swoon, you'll be a winner!"
But the problem was I couldn't sing
All I could do was stutter.